A few reasons, thoughts behind what is driving the current movement, as well as all of life everywhere.
It’s now time to tell you about myself. I feel like I should tell you something
very revealing. From what I’ve read, I’m pretty sure that a revelation like this
must occur in order for anyone to care about me. I don’t exist unless I tell you
I think that if I am to talk to you, it must come by communicating something,
surely. But it’s more than this. I’m also in this mood—I’m reeling with
rambunctious energy! I feel like I can say anything and it will be true—but I
also want to open my mouth and to say something that actually IS true. So I
might try that! We’ll see, in just a moment.
Okay, let’s see. I am compelled to talk intensely about all of life, about the
very core of myself. About all of the Earth. About animals. About the sky! About
the lightning that descends from it. About little keys and chains and about
ornate knobs that exist apart from the original bureaus to which they where
attached! I feel suddenly enabled—and this is by what I’ve seen, by just a
simple mouse cursor I saw—to attempt to explain this consciousness and to
paint my full perspective in a shattering way, to dispel every pretense and to
unveil all of life and to do it by talking about surrealism. (Especially
surrealism as it exists on the Web, on blogs and on zines as they are coming
through the postal service.)
The mouse cursor that I saw was of a simple Jersey cow, lowing in the field. I
was not looking for a new mouse cursor at the time, I was simply drinking from a
clear canister. The circumstances could not be less intriguing. I was drinking
from a clear canister and I had my hand resting on the bough of a tree.
Normally I close my eyes while I am drinking. I close them very tight actually.
Sometimes my eyelids hurt from closing them so tightly! I have to tell myself to
not close them so tightly. And that’s what I did in this moment: I was telling
myself not to close my eyelids so tightly. I was repeating to myself the phrase:
Decci Estefani Epcot—which is a phonetical reading of an acronym which
stands for “Don’t Ever Close Your Eyelids So Tightly That the Force of Your
Entire Person is Concentrated There.” I repeated this again and again in my
mind. Decci Estefani Epcot. Decci Estefani Epcot. In my mind, many times.
I am very careful to say it precisely, as it is a slight tongue twister. Not a
notable one at all. But a minor one. My eyelids love it. Let’s just say: they
were doing fine. And as I said, the
vision of this Jersey cow mouse cursor was conjured in my vision, moving across
my neighbor’s yard.
I was standing on a ladder, looking into this neighbor’s yard, while this mouse
cursor clicked on different things. The grass. Then an in-ground trampoline.
Then a bush. A bird flew out of the bush. It clicked on a screen door and it
rattled slightly. It clicked on the bush a few more times, but there were no
birds there, just a rustling.
I marveled at this cursor—I hadn’t even thought to look at the bush or the
in-ground trampoline before. I wouldn’t even have tried. Not before this. But now
I looked, I really looked! And I truly saw them in
all of their splendor. The pleasant thump of the trampoline’s tarpaulin! I
thought to myself that it would be lovely to have a mouse cursor in my life that
would click on various things, bringing my attention to them and making them
fully interactive. It didn’t occur to me that I actually did have one now. I
looked, and it seemed totally independent and detached from me, not mine in any
sense, not belonging to any of us, but just a translucent layer, existing on top
of the projections of my eyes. It shook its head from side to side, nervously.
But I could see that it was beaming with a raw, youthful embarrassment.
Now, this is not the revelation—many of you have written in to tell me about
your mouse cursors and what you like to do with them. And also I should say, I
worry about bringing up the wrong thing here. Do you ever say something
offhanded to someone and then two days later you suddenly throw yourself
BACKWARDS against the wall in the middle of the day and you yell HEY WAIT THIS
IS A BAD SITUATION! Of course, when someone notices you, you laugh playfully, as
if it you were just kidding around—but in secret, you struggle to breathe
again and you close your eyelids way too tight, and you find you are trapped in
this situation from then on, paralyzed by what you can ever do right again.
What I am saying is—well, first off, I have many times seen a wolf on top of
my neighbor’s house. It is usually just licking its paws or staring at children
who are playing. It’s sitting on shingles as if they were just another natural
biome. But what I’m saying is that I’m afraid that many of you will
think I am saying “wolf”—as in “German.” (Because I often used that word to
derogatorily refer to Germans when I was a young person. And it was true back
then—many Germans were wolves in those days, they would steal my train
tickets. But it’s no longer true—so I no longer say it, but I’m afraid to now
even bring up the word “wolf” even if I have a good reason, like if I want to
tell you that I’ve seen one on my neighbor’s roof.)
So this is the revelation—why exactly I struggle to use the word “wolf” on
this blog or even in my private life, in the most intimate moments. Well, no, I
do use it there very frequently.
Now it is nighttime and I am confronting this digitally, to see how it goes. The
FBI and the KGB are here watching my every move. They love to peep in and to
announce their presence on my screen. There is a little icon of a man’s face. It
appears in my system tray and it winks once at me. But if I try to show anyone
else the man’s face, it fades into an ordinary Dropbox logo. This is quite
maddening. But, being a former computer expert,
I do know what it takes to make a smooth fade transition.
So, yes, this is what draws me to the surrealist community. And to bee videos,
which is the closest thing I have right now to my mouse cursor.