Kicks Condor


I use three main tags on this blog:

  • hypertext: linking, the Web, the future of it all.

  • garage: art and creation, tinkering, zines and books, kind of a junk drawer - sorry!

  • elementary: schooling for young kids.

29 Aug 2021

The Life and Death of an Internet Onion Literature? Zine? No, an Internet onion.

This project only appears to have about two weeks left - but it’s a good time to check it out because there’s a lot there now. A lot of onion!

This is a webzine - concept by Laurel Schwultz, but made possible by a team - where new writing is added from contributors every day for five weeks. (Back for its second season, it appears: here’s a snapshot from last August.[1])

The onion works like so:

Just so you know, onions grow new layers from the inside-out. The oldest layers are on the outside, and the newest on the inside.

In true onion skin style, you can slightly make out the next entry in the background of the current entry you’re reading. You can also browse by contributor.

This new site includes the 2020 onion as well - the new season starts at layer twenty-three.

Part of what really pushed me to posting about this, though, is this amazing spreadsheet:

Internet Onion Decay Spreadsheet.

From a blog post where the stylesheets are laid out.

The internet onion is decaying by phases because it has to be, given the basic hand-coding HTML and CSS we are using. We could write a script, but we are lazy, and there won’t be that many more phases of decay than this, Laurel thinks to herself. (Although down the line, Laurel would like to also degrade the content itself and source code, but that will be in Late Decay.)

So this is like the full 90’s web reenactment here.

I hope this continues to be a staple of the Web. The bots can’t keep up with the handmade Web. It’s too small - they can’t even BE that small!

  1. And here’s a snapshot from a few months into its decay. (Notice the barely visible ‘peel’ button in the lower-left corner.) ↩︎

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05 Mar 2021

Bitconnect But It’s

This meme will not die for me - here’s a compilation.

I don’t imagine this meme has had longevity outside my personal skeleton - it’s been three years now. I put this meme on my best of 2010s list and thought I was done with it. But I just keep coming back to it via stuff like this.[1]

This vid is a collection of my favorite set of a certain subset of Bitconnect meme vids: the “…but it’s Bitconnect” vids. (X-Files but it’s Bitconnect, Universal Studios but it’s Bitconnect,…) I already loved the sensations I was feeling in other Bitconnect videos - uncovering a whole subgenre within the wider Carlos Matos movement was quite thrilling!

However, I think this video is very useful.

  • Show off your new 4K projector sound set with this video. It has the full range!
  • One day when a larger “…but it’s…” feature film comes out, documenting the saga, this can be a special feature on the disc. (I would release this vid direct to theatres - but COVID.)
  • The next step is for bands, visual artists and essayists to rally around this subgenre and build a scene. The obvious “band of Bitconnect samples” is open as of now - it’s crazy! Get in.
  • I think there’s a real opportunity here for Marvel to cash in with Vision “Hey Hey Hey” and Vision “I LOOOOVE” merch.

I am doing really good on this post for once.

  1. Oh and the LIVING ROOM DINETTES thing came back recently (for me) here! ↩︎

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27 Jul 2015

I Believe (The Nicolas Cage Speech)

A speech I like to give—my beliefs wrt Nicolas Cage.

This is a speech I like to give my students about my beliefs with regard to Nicolas Cage, to clear up any misunderstanding. Please contact my office if you would like me to give this speech at your school or at a civic meeting.

Let’s get right to it.

I believe in Nicolas Cage.

I believe he is real.

I believe that he is not a projection of my mind. I could not have invented Nicolas Cage—that much I know.

I believe he lives.

I believe that he believes that he lives. Which I find even more convincing.

I believe in him—that he’ll go far in life. He already has gone far, yes, but he will go far again and again.

I believed him in National Treasure when he said he would be stealing The Declaration of Independence. He did.

I believed him in National Treasure 2 when he said he would be kidnapping The President of the United States of America. He did.

I believe in the “nouveau shamanic” style of acting that this man employs.

And so I believe that there was no script for the National Treasure movies. I believe we are simply watching a man go about his daily routine. I believe that, right now, Nicolas Cage is solving national mysteries and nerding out over rare coins. He could be travelling back in time to kill Betsy Ross. He could be fighting a giant lizard-enhanced Benedict Arnold and walking on a bridge made of rare historical documents—a bridge which he himself made using a power like Iceman has—but with rare historical documents in place of ice.

I believe Diane Kruger is with him on these escapades.

I believe the quiver-like document case that he has slung over his shoulder, and which he often carries The Declaration of Independence in, except when he’s faking out Sean Bean’s character, is made from the hollowed out wooden leg of President Zachary Taylor. I believe that, at the time of his presidency, people suspected that Zachary Taylor had a wooden leg—but they said nothing, because it was possible he was using it to traffick state secrets and important rare and historical documents.

However, I believe that President Taylor NEVER COULD HAVE imagined that his leg would one day carry The Declaration of Independence. I believe this information would have been too much. I believe he would have turned away from his destiny and began a new quest to destroy the leg, in a misguided attempt to save The Declaration of Independence.

But I believe you can’t change the timeline. I believe everything happened as it should. I believe in the vindication of the Gates family. I believe Diane Kruger should have rightfully had the missing 1789 button for George Washington’s inauguration and that part of Nicolas Cage’s destiny was to help her complete the full set. It makes sense and I believe Diane Kruger collects masonic aprons as well.

I believe that they DID heat up the back of The Declaration of Independence together with their breath, though I believe Nicolas Cage’s breath accounted for more than two-thirds of that exhalatory heat. I believe that Diane Kruger’s breath was very hot as well, though, considering that it only took them one breath—and not even a particularly strong one at that—though not a bad one either—a good breath—a generous but not strengthful breath—just one breath to heat up the whole corner of The Declaration of Independence. I mean that’s pretty good!

I believe the “national treasure” referred to in the title of the film series is not The Declaration of Independence, nor is it The President of the United States, nor is it the sweet steampunk glasses of Benjamin Franklin—I believe it’s Nicolas Cage duh.

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This page is also at kickssy42x7...onion and on hyper:// and ipns://.


glitchyowl, the future of 'people'.

jack & tals, hipster bait oracles., MAYA DOT LAND.

hypertext 2020 pals: h0p3 level 99 madman + ᛝ ᛝ ᛝ — lucid highly classified scribbles + consummate waifuist chameleon.

yesterweblings: sadness, snufkin, sprite, tonicfunk, siiiimon, shiloh.

surfpals: dang, robin sloan, marijn, nadia eghbal, elliott dot computer, laurel schwulst, (toby), things by j, gyford, also joe jenett (of linkport), brad enslen (of indieseek).

fond friends:, fogknife, eli,, j.greg, box vox,, caesar naples.

constantly: nathalie lawhead, 'web curios' AND waxy

indieweb: .xyz, c.rwr, boffosocko.

nostalgia:, bad cmd, ~jonbell.

true hackers:,, voja antonić, cnlohr,

chips: zeptobars, scargill, 41j.

neil c. "some..."

the world or cate le bon you pick.

all my other links are now at